Chad Buckner

Chad Brent Buckner (Son of Debbie MacPherson)

November 28, 1978 ~ June 26, 2015

Chad Brent Buckner, 36, born on November 28, 1978 in Ogden Utah. His smile spread light from that day on. His loving parents Brent LaMar and Debra Ann MacPherson Buckner helped spread that light by traveling from state to state and country to country. From Clinton and South Weber, Utah toFrankfurt Germany and Ornex, France and then onto Milan Italy where he served an LDS mission from 1999-2001, which was a highlight of his life being in the service of his Heavenly Father. Even though Chad has seen much of the world it was his love for the outdoors that led him to call Utah home in his adult life.

From a young age Chad was always using his greatest tool, his hands, to build or create something. He was known for fixing anything that he saw, whether he was asked or not, and whether it was his or not. Chad loved playing drums, rock climbing, camping, fishing, hunting, leather work and anything that involved his hands and a tool. It was this passion that led Chad to becoming an eagle scout, as well as being a member of the Order of the Arrow and a Wood Badge graduate. Mr. Fix it, Handy man, Eagle scout, Master builder- whatever the title, Chad has held it. But the title he held most dear was Husband and Father.

Chad married the love of his life, Amy Marie Hirschi on August 17, 2004 in the LDS Bountiful Temple. They have three beautiful children Ethan, Wade, and Sydni. Those who knew Chad, knew that his number one priority in life was his beautiful family. He loved spending time passing on his talents and skills to his sons, and playing with his beautiful daughter. Finding Chad laying out in a hammock with his kids was a common occurrence. His young family was everything to him. It was the love and support of his beautiful young family that kept Chad fighting for more time on earth.

Chad fought cancer for six long years. On June 26, 2015 his fight ended and Chad went home to be with his Creator. His smile spread light even through the darkest times of his life. He never let Cancer get the better of him, and always kept a positive spin on his situation with a smile on his face. This valiant man truly was an example to so many. Although Chad is watching over his family from life above, we can honor him by remembering how gentle, authentic and Christ-like he was through and through.

Chad is survived by his wife of 10 years, Amy Hirschi Buckner; his children, Ethan Chad (8), Wade Michael (6), and Sydni Marie (2); parents, Brent and Debra Buckner; siblings, Heidi Lynn (Jason Anderson), Genilyn (Nathan Smith), Michael LaMar, Ashley Marie (Matthew Turner) and Jessica Dawn (Colby Jake Lindsey).

He was welcomed into the spirit world by his paternal grandparents, Elmer LaMar and Melba Hale Buckner, and his maternal grandparents, Donald Earl and Nelda Marie Kidd MacPherson.

Funeral services will be held on Thursday, July 2, 2015 at 11 a.m. at the South Weber 4^th Ward Chapel, 7989 South 2250 East. Friends may visit family on Wednesday from 5 to 8 p.m. and Thursday from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. at the church. Services entrusted to Lindquist’s Ogden Mortuary. Interment, Lindquist’s Washington Heights Memorial Park, 4500 Washington Blvd.

In lieu of flowers, the family wishes that donations be made to the family.

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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Over the past month we have experienced our highs and lows are disappointments and joys, one thing has remained constant, we know the Lord loves us and he is supporting us.

As difficult as things have been somehow we’ve been able to make it, one day after another, day in and day out we seem to wake for another day knowing that the Lord will be there for us.

Does he remove the difficulty? Not always. Will he take away the challenge? Not necessarily. Will he help us endure? That… He has promised us.

We don’t know what the future holds for our little family. Will I be healed miraculously? I don’t know. We can only hope. Will I be taken home to meet my loving father in heaven? Perhaps. Either way we have hope and trust in our Father’s plan for us.

We trust in him because we know he loves us, all of this will be for our good.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Home

Man things can change so much in a number of weeks. Home feels so good but it is different, different because I am different. I am going to need to get used to how do do things at my own home now. It has been a challenge to just live. My body is still in shock. I find I am in such a surreal state, that it is hard to even feel like I am here. The Lord is helping me make it through each day, one day at a time. It is so incredibly hard right now as I am so dependent upon Amy to help me with everything. I hate feeling like I am a burden, I cry often because I am not independent as I used to be. It hurts to know that I can be the cause of so much stress and pain for others. Even though I am learning how to dress myself, and how to shower with little help, it is so physically taxing that I am absolutely spent by the time I am finished. My endurance is slowly increasing but to sit in my wheelchair all day long is painful. It is something I feel trapped in.

All of this is here is me venting, trying to just get out my feelings. I have down days and I have days that are better than others. I am coming off of some of my meds which will help with the down days.
I am learning to accept what is happening to me and I understand that it will take quite a while for me to be completely comfortable with my current situation. I also know that my strength will increase and I will be able to do more on my own. What I am lacking now is patience. I want everything to happen now. I want to be strong now, I want to be independent now. I just need to realize that things don’t happen overnight, it takes time.

I have therapy sessions multiple times a week. Occupational therapy as well as Physical therapy. I learn how to do daily tasks in occupational therapy and we work on getting my left had functioning better as it is slowly degrading and losing strength due to the radiation treatments I have received. In physical therapy we work on doing core exercises and and strengthening my arms. This part is the worst as I have to sue my arms so much during the day that they don’t get a rest. My arms are always sore and hurting. I guess you know what they say…no rest for the weary. This will improve over time too as my arms get stronger but for now…it is no fun.

I know that the only way I am surviving any of this is through the Lords help. Each day is a blessing I am here with my loving family who accepts who I am in my current situation, they love me and love to help me. Amy has shown me love in a way I could never imagine. She is someone who never will complain how hard it is. She just does what needs to be done. Despite how tired or how difficult taking care of me is she still manages to take care of all of the kids and me as well. She is beyond amazing and I love her so much for what she is doing. God has a plan in all of this. I have no idea what it is right now but one day it will be apparent. I wish I knew right now what it is or why this is all happening but in His time I will find out what that might be. I will put my trust in Him and let him guide us wherever we need to go right now, no matter how hard.

Elder Holland spoke of miracles and this is something I have held on to:
Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

I finished all of the Radiation Therapy and am glad it is done. I managed to make it through the last 3 rounds without much pain, I just seemed to get into the right position on the table. I also took an additional pain pill before just to help. Now I am starting to deal with the intense sore throat that comes from being fried by the radiation. It will last for the next few weeks and makes it hard to swallow. I also found out that from all the steroids that I have been taking I now have Thrush. It is a fungus/yeast infection of the throat, it comes with an intense burning and it makes it hard to swallow. Add both throat issues together and taking medication as well as eating is so brutally painful that I really have to be careful as to how I eat etc. I am on some medication that is helping with the thrush but it is still going to take time to heal.

The last few days have been full of therapy and Doctors appointments. They have also been full of trying to get used to being paralyzed from the belly down. This has been the hardest thing to deal with at the moment. To go from being able to move and at least shuffle around walking to being confined to a wheelchair and trying to move and function with all of this extra dead weight below the waist is so hard. I can’t do much at all by my self. I know this will change over time as I learn to adapt but for now I feel so helpless. I just sit in the wheelchair or I lie in bed. I can’t dress myself, I can’t even barely adjust myself in bed, I need someone to move my legs and to help me roll over even. This is such a drastic adjustment to life.

I know that the Lord has plans for us and that there is a purpose in all of this. I know I have a lot to be grateful for. I still have a full life to live, there is life after this new circumstance, He will help us. Somehow he will help us.
I Love my family so much, they have been there for me through all of this right now. They want me to succeed. They believe in me. This is what I need right now as I am struggling to believe in myself. I find that I am having a really hard time believing in myself right now. The doubt, the fear, the disappointment I feel right now is so overwhelming I need the boost that those around me are giving. I am grateful for it.
Somehow I make it to another day, time goes by, it passes, sometimes ever so slowly, and the nights are so long, sometimes sleepless, sometimes, restless, but the new day comes and I get to start over, wondering what the day will bring. Will I be able to endure this day well? What new challenges will come? How will I conquer them? How will I be able to cope emotionally? Being on the steroids I am on have been so hard, they really mess with your emotions, I mean REALLY mess with them. I cry over the littlest things, I get frustrated really easy, I am fine one minute and the next I am a basket case. I will be getting off of them once I get home and it will be a slow process to get off of them but once they are out of my system I am hoping to be able to cope with things much better.
I can’t thank my wife Amy enough for being my Rock through all of this, she is so full of faith and hope. She is there for me on the phone any time of day or night. She lifts my spirits when they are down and makes sure I know how much she loves me. She reassures me that no matter what happens, we are in this together and that we will make it, no matter how hard it may seem. I love her with all my heart. She is the love of my life.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

First 2 radiation rounds done on the new C6 tumor.
We found out that instead of doing 3 treatments, they were going to do 5 instead, which means daily trips across town to the hospital. The first day was a little rough getting lugged in and out of the cabs with the slush and all, I was so grateful to Brandon Buckner for the muscle man he is! I spent about 5 hours upright which really took its toll and wore me right out.
While the mask and the mold they have me locked into during the radiation treatment has really improved over the years, it still lacks a lot. Trying to lay there and not move while not comfortable and trying to manage the fact that my arms started falling asleep from the position I was in… Not to fun. I laid there and quietly prayed that the Lord would help me make it through the next half hour, and that he would help remove the pain and discomfort. Within about 5 minutes, the pain and discomfort were all but gone.
I have never doubted that the Lord hears me. I love the reassurance I get each time my prayers are answered, no matter how small the prayer, no matter how trivial the situation, He cares, and hears us.
With the second treatment done today along with an additional follow up visit, I was up for about 7 hours. It really wipes me out but to see some further progress each day is encouraging.
We did find out that there are a number of wheelchair accessible cabs in the city that make all the difference in world in getting across town to the hospital. They even a hotline we can call for it. Just wheel in and it out the back!
Tomorrow we will also have a physical therapy consult to determine what I might be able to do to start regaining anything at all below my waist. I can wiggle my toes and slightly straighten my thighs (barely and not every time) but everything is so weak I have to physically have my legs lifted on and off the leg rests on the wheelchair. They are just dead weight for now.
We have adjusted some more meds again in hopes to reduce the pressure on spinal cord some more. The steroids have been increased and with that comes the irritability and the mood swings which I am not used to. I find myself being frustrated at the dumbest things! The simplest things also seem to get me emotional very easily. This is going to take some being used to.
In find I am learning more and more about patience and the importance of not running faster than I can. Some things just take time, when it is out of your control, don’t stress over it, just do what you can for today and then move into tomorrow.
We are seeing many blessings and small miracles each day, I am so grateful for the continued support through all of your prayers and thoughts, they are making the difference. Amy Hirschi Buckner and I are blessed beyond measure to have the support that we do.
Thank you!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

This last week has been probably the hardest of my life. I didn’t anticipate the psychological blow that it would have on me. Physically, the pain has been more intense than I have ever felt and the slow loss of function from my lower body has dealt a blow that has struck fear into my mind multiple times. Although I feel the paralysis to some extent will be temporary it is something I am not looking forward to working through.
We are working through the pain with some new pain medications, hoping this will allow me to maintain some endurance to be able to get out of bed and into a wheelchair. It will be nice to not feel bed ridden.
How will I make it through the rest of this I have no idea. And at times I feel like I don’t want to know. It causes me to think too much, to try and think how I’m going to fix it when I don’t know how to fix it. Sometimes I just need to take it one hour at a time. I feel this is the best way to handle it for me for now. It’s probably the best way to handle many difficult challenges in life, 10 minutes at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.
The one thing I do know is the only way I have made it through this week is through your prayers and thoughts. The strength that has given me has been huge. The Lord is there he has not left me alone. In my darkest hours He’s the only one who could be with me and truly understand me. Despite all the clouds and the darkness around, he has helped me find the light. I am so grateful to know that I can call on him at any time and receive his comfort and peace. There is a plan in all of this, one will lead us to find true happiness and joy, one that will give us understanding in the end. This will undoubtedly be the greatest learning moment in my life. For this I will be eternally grateful.
Once again Amy Hirschi Buckner and I thank you for your support and your love as we could not do it without you.

A lot has happened since Chad’s venture to New York to continue his fight against Cancer. Once in New York, the doctors were discouraged with the loss of movement and control of Chad’s legs due to the tumor that was growing on his spine. They wanted to try a procedure that had only been done 15 times before, and was considered new and experimental. The procedure would involve supplying a very potent form of Chemotherapy directly into the tumor with the use of small catheters through the veins supplying the tumor. Though the procedure went well, within 48 hours, Chad was rendered completely paralyzed from the waist down. The tumor had continue to swell and grow, and was enveloping the spinal chord.

They later discovered that no further procedures would be possible, and that the last resort was putting Chad on a Chemotherapy treatment that he would be on for the rest of his life.

Adjusting to his new life being paralyzed has been a challenge. He is no longer able to work, and the paralysis is starting to affect his arms as well.

Recent scans showed that the cancer had now spread all throughout his spine, throughout his lungs, his hip, and throughout his body. With no income, and with the increased medical costs, along with the costs of hospice, any donation is appreciated and needed.

We appreciate the donations that have been made, along with the prayers and outreach on everyones behalf.

– JANUARY 2015-

On January12th, 2015, Chad Buckner is headed back to the Sloan Kettering Cancer Hospital in New York for yet another fight with stage 4 Leiomyosarcoma. It is a fight that he started on February 8th, 2009, and has been fighting ever since. (See the details below).

Chad’s Cancer is so rare, that only about 2,000 cases are reported each year, and only 100 are found on the spine.

At the end of 2014, and the start of the new year, we learned that Chad would have to go back to New York for more treatments. We learned that the road ahead would be an unknown path, with additional Chemotherapy, Radiation, and possibly more operations. Many people have asked how they can help out and what they can do, and although many of us would want to stand in his place, and take this from him personally, unfortunately that is not an option.

Many people have asked how they can help out and what they can do

for this amazing family.

We are humbled by the many people that have responded to the Tee Shirt campaign and so grateful for all your support! In doing that campaign, we’ve received even more requests to create yet another means that would allow others to donate even more. We are overwhelmed with gratitude for what this means in generating additional funds where 100% will go directly to Chad and his family to offset expenses and help with all his time away from work in his ongoing battle.

Whether it is $1, or $100, we thank you in advance for your generosity. (By clicking on the link at the top of the page, you will be directed to a Paypal account where 100% of the money will go to Chad and his family).

We also encourage you to leave some words for Chad. We have also set up an email address where you can send a more personalized message for him and his family that will be presented to him along with the amount raised. Please send your messages toGotYourBackChad@gmail.com. (EVEN IF YOU DON’T DONATE, PLEASE SEND IN AN ENCOURAGING EMAIL WHETHER YOU KNOW HIM OR NOT)

HIS STORY…

ROUND 1

February 9th, 2009 – (Operation, Chemotherapy)

2009 February 8th, Chad was headed to the Huntsman Cancer Institute for a Spinal Fusion after being diagnosed with cancer, Leiomyosarcoma.

“I was diagnosed with cancer, Leiomyosarcoma. I underwent a surgery that removed 2 discs and a vertebrae. I had 8 screws, two cages and 2 rods implanted. I underwent neuro-rehab and 18 weeks of chemotherapy.” – Chad Buckner – Chad-Buckner.blogspot.com

ROUND 2

May, 12th 2010 – (Operation)

We later found out that the Cancer had come back into his spine again, and another operation was needed:

“This morning was a routine 3 month checkup. I go in every 3 months for scans and tests to follow up on the cancer, just to make sure it doesn’t spread.

I was feeling nervous just like I had for the previous follow-up visits. I new I was going to be fine. Getting ready for the day, I had the usual butterflies, the anxiety and the desire to get it over with. When we got to the Hunstman Cancer institute, we got the boys out of the car and headed in to the clinic. Sitting in the chair waiting for the Team of oncologists to come in and tell me that everything was alright, I had a different feeling, a fleeting thought of hold on to your hat! One of the Docs. opened the door and came in asking us how we were doing. We were fine, at least for now I thought we were fine. She asked me if I was feeling anything different. I said I was fine other than a slight twinge in my back, which I was told, visits in the past, was probably my body still adjusting to the drastic changes that had been made.

Well it turns out that the slight twinge was nothing more than the tumor making its new home in my T3 vertebrae. One vertebrae below the original tumor. With the News that the cancer had spread to another vertebrae and the thought of having to go through with everything all over again, I cried. I knew that what ever was going to happen, the Lord was going to be there to lift and strengthen us, like he did the first time. I still cried. I wanted so bad to hear good news, I wanted to be one of the success stories of having beaten cancer on the first try. Looks like I didn’t get it right the first time.” – Chad Buckner – Chad-Buckner.blogspot.com

ROUND 2 – Continued

August 9, 2010 – Radiation

We found out that he would need to follow up the operation with some Radiation Therapy…

“I have made it through my first week of Radiation therapy. So far it has been a good experience. Compared to Chemo, this is much better. I am starting to feel a little irritation in my throat and I can tell I don’t have as much energy through out the day as I am used to. The tumors I have had are in the very upper part of my back, the esophagus is near the spine where they are radiating so it does get minimal doses of radiation, causing a sort of sunburn and hence the irritation.” – Chad Buckner – Chad-Buckner.blogspot.com

ROUND 3

January 9, 2012 –

We found out that despite Chemotherapy, 2 operations and Radiation, that the tumor had come back on to his spine…

“The surgeon said the tumor is to small for the risky surgery he would have to do. He would have to go through the chest and move ribs, lungs, heart, etc. That is not an option right now. The radiation doctor said the tumor is to close to the spinal cord and there is no way she could get it all so it would just grow back in 6 months and then radiation would not be an option again. She told him to go home and enjoy his quality of life while he could. Chemo didn’t do anything to stop it the first time and doesn’t have a good track record with sarcoma tumors so that is the last option.” – Amy Buckner – cbbuckner.blogspot.com

With the doctors telling him they had no where to proceed, he headed to the Sloan Kettering Hospital where the doctors said that they would proceed with a very POWERFUL round of Radiation.

ROUND 4

December 2013

In the end of 2013 and through the beginning of 2014, the cancer was back, and required an additional surgery on the spine and found that the cancer had spread to his hip, qualifying this as Stage 4. Since the doctors in Utah had no solutions, he had to continue the fight in New York…

“I underwent another surgery but this time they did focused Radiation during the surgery, something that has been pioneered by the amazing Doctors as Sloan Kettering. I truly believe that I am blessed to have the best Doctors in the world to help me fight my fight.” – Chad Buckner – Chad-Buckner.blogspot.com

ROUND 5

End of 2014 – Early 2015

Chad’s cancer has taken a turn for the worse. It has now spread to his hip, shoulder, lymph node, lung, and it came back in his back. After waiting for several months for the insurance to approve additional treatments, his back has gotten worse and it is affecting his lower body, his arms and hands and has required him to rely on a cane.

“A year later and after much recovery we discovered that the Cancer had metastasized all over. I underwent Microwave ablation to my right lung and right hip, (after fighting with the insurance on the coverage of this procedure for about 4-5 months, the finally approved it, what a joke). Now they have found a new tumor on my C6 vertebrae and also found swelling on my spinal cord.
The effects of this have been very noticeable. My legs are losing strength, I am walking with a cane so I don’t fall on my face and the pain has increased dramatically. I am experiencing tingling throughout my lower body and some numbing in my right thumb.” – – Chad Buckner – Chad-Buckner.blogspot.com

A Brother’s Message…

My brother is my hero. He taught me how to climb, and fixed everything that I could not fix. If you look at all of his pictures, you will see a smile on his face in each one. It has been so hard seeing him no longer able to do the things that he loves to do. He is the guy who can fix anything, and never gives up, and in my eyes has always been the guy who could do anything. There is no kinder, gentler, and a more Christ-like man that I know of. I watched him growing up, when he was bullied, or treated unkind, always maintain a loving heart as he would turn the other cheek, and let it roll off his back. Regardless if he can no longer climb, or build a truck and take it rock crawling, for me, he will always remain “that guy”, and I will always look up to my older brother…

We want to thank you for your prayers, for your donations to Chad’s family, and for those who don’t know him, and for those who love him dearly and have wanted to assist… We will forever be grateful!